today included.


i can remember, so clearly

the smell of the mountain air

as i whispered — afraid to say it aloud

(for fear it might disappear)

as quickly as it started.

do you remember how it started?

because i can’t remember

before that.

i didn’t want to,

for so long.

today included.

and i guess i’ll have to make new memories

but the old ones, they’re so clear;

like the stars in the Boone sky.

like your voice in my head.

go on, get out.

just make it disappear

as quickly as it started.

and get out.

just get out

of my head.


i don’t have a choice // but i’d still choose you.


my heart is broken and

my best friend is gone.

life turned upside down


it mangled and twisted and now it is all but unrecognizable.

transformed into an unfamiliar place in which i do not know how to belong.

you ran first.

i went next.

but there wasn’t any place

that felt like home.

now, everything hurts.

or there is just nothing.

i need the in between.

even just to sleep.

or to remember how to breathe.

“i had love to spare.

and it was meant for you.”

and i know

that i don’t have a choice.

but i’d still choose you.

but you tell me,

you don’t choose me too.