about july 24th

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(Too. Soon.)

“The music was at the start. ”
– Chet Faker

There was so much laughter and singing that I forgot:
I forgot to be sad.
I forgot to miss you.

And eventually,
I forgot everything that I wanted for me.
More importantly: what I need.
And that is not to be motivated by fear.

My strength has been tested
so much since lunchtime on June 2nd.
Since much earlier—if I’m honest.

My weakness is showing now.

I am too connected to you to

Slip away, to fade away.

Days away I still feel you

Touching me, changing me,

And considerately killing me.

all the king’s horses and all the king’s men

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when the image of someone you love
their honest heart and childish soul
falls down—crumbles to bits

the next move is so hard to call

some images were never real, and
are worth reconstructing—
with more accuracy than ever before

others are just what they always were—
forever broken, and
simply revealed through small cracks over time

waste no time on the cracked eggs

go get sunny side up elsewhere, or
hell, get scrambled.

but never return to what hurt you.

shark eyes

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Maybe need a few quiet hours to think about you, to
clear my head;
Maybe come to.

Cause baby there’s nothing
makes me more afraid.

Chances are, only minutes will flee
before I miss you next to me
close up—
eyes closed

And baby there’s nothing
makes me more afraid.

But that’s just why
i gotta reel it in
before your shark eyes beat me to it
even if, i
will never want to do it.

Cause baby I love it,
how you make me so afraid.

to say the least 

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 This is quite possibly the most unexpected of events; simultaneously breathtaking and horrible. “Slowly, and then all at once.”

startling. 

thrilling. 

perfect. 

awful. 

i don’t know how to continue to protect my heart when you’re near. when i consider running, terror ensues. then i realize that, if i don’t, the safety of that most essential organ will become more your responsibility with every minute that passes in fits of laughter and back rubs and movie marathons. 

well, fuck. 

to say the least.