lately i wonder—and often
if i will always wait
for the other shoe to drop.
if there is some silent timer,
ticking down to the end
then silence, in the emptiness after.
can everyone else hear it?
(how much time is left?)
is it already over?
it feels that way—
will Tuesdays always stir it up
or pour it out of me
leaving me waiting for Wednesday
leaving me waiting for anything different
make everything stop leaving me
you could try to explain–
just don’t lie to me again.
intentions best or otherwise,
it’s all too late, my friend.
’cause you didn’t do it.
nor i, and that’s true.
but somebody’s paying.
and it ain’t you.
she was so pretty with a smile.
brief as it may be.
how does disappointment look on me?
“The music was at the start. ”
– Chet Faker
There was so much laughter and singing that I forgot:
I forgot to be sad.
I forgot to miss you.
I forgot everything that I wanted for me.
More importantly: what I need.
And that is not to be motivated by fear.
My strength has been tested
so much since lunchtime on June 2nd.
Since much earlier—if I’m honest.
My weakness is showing now.
I am too connected to you to
Slip away, to fade away.
Days away I still feel you
Touching me, changing me,
And considerately killing me.
when the image of someone you love
their honest heart and childish soul
falls down—crumbles to bits
the next move is so hard to call
some images were never real, and
are worth reconstructing—
with more accuracy than ever before
others are just what they always were—
forever broken, and
simply revealed through small cracks over time
waste no time on the cracked eggs
go get sunny side up elsewhere, or
hell, get scrambled.
but never return to what hurt you.
Maybe need a few quiet hours to think about you, to
clear my head;
Maybe come to.
Cause baby there’s nothing
makes me more afraid.
Chances are, only minutes will flee
before I miss you next to me
And baby there’s nothing
makes me more afraid.
But that’s just why
i gotta reel it in
before your shark eyes beat me to it
even if, i
will never want to do it.
Cause baby I love it,
how you make me so afraid.
This is quite possibly the most unexpected of events; simultaneously breathtaking and horrible. “Slowly, and then all at once.”
i don’t know how to continue to protect my heart when you’re near. when i consider running, terror ensues. then i realize that, if i don’t, the safety of that most essential organ will become more your responsibility with every minute that passes in fits of laughter and back rubs and movie marathons.
to say the least.